Photos and Words by Carlos Detres
Well, May 21st came and went without a single unusual casualty inflicted by either of the Horsemen. The epicenter of the Apocalypse seemed to be in the heart of New York City in Union Square. The wisest of the wise embraced New York City streets, dripping beer and various narcotics onto the pavement and floorboard of multiple bars. Alarms and sirens commingled with the chorus of singing Amish/Quakers/Shakers/Mormons (whatever affiliation they were) and the warnings of preacher men barking from behind the planted crucifix where people had funny photos taken of themselves. Later, a long-haired man, a blonde double of Jesus Christ from a Western hemisphere painting took to the crucifix and let his hands dangle there for onlookers to gasp at.
Foreboding clouds loomed nearby as the clock ticked closer to 6PM. It was then that I began to wonder, Which time zone is God in? Christians gathered across the street from Whole Foods and sang for Jesus while a nearby prayer station offered services for your soul…just in case. While taking pictures, a sudden creeping feeling came through to my brain and heart. People wearing colorful clothes danced in Union Square behind the Christian singers. Fake Jesus wandered near his cross, the prayer station, the preacher man, the people dressed as zombies lumbering by, and then the clouds, slowly pressing over us. My god, I thought. If the end were near, this is exactly how it would happen.
It was 5:57 pm. I perched myself on the cross, aimed my camera into the crowd to await the Rapture when a sudden chorus began counting down to zero. I realized that the end, if it was really coming, was only a few seconds away. When they reached zero, the crowd erupted into cheers:
New Year’s Eve Part II.
Osama bin Laden is Dead Part II.
The end of the world had run out of time. Perhaps deities above saved the day or perhaps the ramblings of an old man in need of some fast cash just got rich.
Afterwards, I looked for those Christians. The preacher man. Even Jesus but none were to be found. Taken by the light into Heaven? Shamefully retreated to their churches for heap loads of “what’s next?” Maybe…after all, how else is a church going to make 80 million dollars besides spreading false alarms about the end of the world? Back to the drawing board. Maybe next year they’ll bring on bigger dramatics by a hired hand from Universal Studios.
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