Mr. Meng hates Rock and Roll. He hates Rock and Roll so much that we made him review legendary album, Dr. Feelgood by Motley Crue. The poor bastard squirmed and pleaded to be released from his cage. He would later emerge from captivity, dazed and distraught. Here are the notes we found inside.

1. T.N.T. – They must have accidentally left the mic on during the OJ chase.

2. Slice of Your Pie – Why did they have to keep repeating the words? I heard you the first time you shouted it at me. Dicks.

3. Rattlesnake Shake – I’m not sure if they are aware that humans are devoid of rattle tails and cannot actually shake like a rattlesnake; rattlesnakes only shake when they are agitated and about to strike.

3:26 – I am now shaking and ready to strike these motherfuckers.

4. Without You – They just done turned Elton john on me yo. Still sucks.

5. Sticky Sweet – IF SHE’S SO GODDAMN STICKY THEN CLEAN HER.

6. She Goes Down – I think this was a blowjob song. No, I am certain because it sucked.

7. Don’t Go Away Mad – I’m beginning to think that Carlos set me up. He doesn’t value my reviews; he just wants me to suffer.

8. Had to take a break and watch goalie fights.

9. Kickstart My Heart – Fuck this.

10. Time For Change – At least they are Obama fans.

Recap – Elementary lyrics about sex, drugs, and feeling good (how original) coupled with shitty hooks that are excessively repeated with some guitar hero bullshit in the background. 2 stars. Out of 100.