I emptied myself of my self
conceptions ambitions ideals
principles love hate
anger loss words
dreams
I sat in chair with cheap cider
and dry old tobacco
that somehow tasted good
I was content to deliver myself to emptiness
I drank without conception of time
slowly and calmly
I did not get drunk or roused or inebriated
there was no false rise from the alcohol
just peace in chair
no music this time
nothingness
the only thought I had was that this is good for me
this sitting without advancement or regression
no women thoughts
no money thoughts
no thoughts about the world
no angst or bad temper
just a spirited vacuum
I had built a bridge to nowhere
and I was happy to walk it.