Four people were looking for a friend’s car so that they could go home but they didn’t make it. Instead they found their way to Soho where House music emanated from a bar. The floor boards of Diva paid for whatever steamed us. Here’s the dialogue of what came before, which was recorded on my voice recorder.
This is the cab ride. The untold story of what happens before you get to the good times.
Names have been changed to protect the unwilling. Excuse the quality of the writing for the introduction. I’ve had two hours of sleep.
Mickey Mouse: I’m here… live… in South Manhattan somewhere where the [UNINTELLIGIBLE]
Mike [TO TAXI DRIVER]: You can’t stop here.
Elizabeth [TO TAXI DRIVER]: No, no, no! Are you joking? Why did you stop? You can’t..
Shannon: No, he’s not.
Mickey Mouse: He’s just calling it quits so that we he can… He’s being nice. He’s being a good guy…
Elizabeth: Oh ok.
Mickey Mouse: …So take care of him. [TO TAXI DRIVER] Thank you, sir. I appreciate it. So anyway, I’m here: Shannon, Elizabeth, Mike…
Mike: You guys want to go to a nice place?
Mickey Mouse: Yes.
Mike: Right here on Church. Church Street.
Mickey Mouse: There’s something going on?
Mike: Yeah, something going on.
Mickey Mouse: Are you sure?
Mike: Yes.
Mickey Mouse: I don’t fucking believe it but let’s drive by. [LAUGHS]
Shannon: Are you serious?
Mike [TO TAXI DRIVER]: Make a left on Church.
Elizabeth: No! We’re going to Broome.
Mike: Get out, carrajo, nino.
Elizabeth [TO TAXI DRIVER]: Go to West Broadway and Broome.
Mike: Ok. Whatever.
Mickey Mouse: We can go this way for a little bit.
Elizabeth: No. West Broadway and Broome. That’s where we’re supposed to be. He was going down the wrong way.
Mike: Oh look, the Tribeca Grand right there.
Elizabeth: I know but we’re further down.
Shannon: Guys, the cheese and wine place is right here and like… the Cubano is right there.
Elizabeth: No, no, no we were suppose to go to West Broadway and Broome.
Shannon: No, I was just saying you know where it is? No?
Mickey Mouse: In other words: we are lost.
Elizabeth: No.
Mike: Yeah. We are not…
Elizabeth [WHISPERS]: We are not where we’re suppose to be.
Mike: We are not lost.
Elizabeth: We are not lost. This guy next to me is fuc-king gorgeous because… I love his ex-girlfriend cause she was awesome even though I met her like twice.
Mickey Mouse: Even though you might have what?
Elizabeth: I love his girlfriend but I met her only twice… it’s like not kosher.
Mickey Mouse: But the ex-girlfriend is… how do you say? [UNINTELLIGIBLE].
Mike: We’re here? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we’re here.
Mickey Mouse [CONTINUING]: She’s…
Elizabeth: We’re not here.
Mike: No. We’re not here.
Mickey Mouse: She’s…
Elizabeth: No. We’re not here. No, this is Soho Grand. And this is Broome. We’re suppose to go to West Broadway.
Mike: Ok.
Mickey Mouse: We are where we’re suppose…
Elizabeth: West Broadway
Mickey Mouse: …to be.
Elizabeth: and BROOME.
Mickey Mouse: We’re good, we’re good, we’re good. This is Grand Street. There’s Felix and there’s Diva. Este poqueria.
Elizabeth: Porqueria. Que pasa aqui?
Mickey Mouse: Oye! Yo queire poqueria pero este boqueria.
Elizabeth: Ok, ok, ok.
CAB STOPS
Mickey Mouse: Gracias, senor.
Elizabeth [HOLDS A CREDIT CARD TO SWIPE THROUGH MACHINE]: Ready?
Mickey Mouse: She’s not…
Mickey Mouse: Charge it. I’m charging it. I’m charging it.
Taxi Driver: No.
Elizabeth: I only have a card. Charge me.
Mickey Mouse: How much is it? I got it.
Elizabeth: No.
Taxi Driver: [UNINTELLIGIBLE]
Elizabeth: Charge me.
Taxi Driver: It’s not working, ok?
Mickey Mouse: It’s a piece of money. How much?
Taxi Driver: 5-80.
Mickey Mouse: How much?
Taxi Driver: 5-80.
Mickey Mouse: 5-80. Ok.
Mike: Yo Mickey, your DJ is in there.
Mickey Mouse: Can I have 13 back, please?
Mike: Your DJ is in there.
Mickey Mouse: Yeah, that’s where we’re gonna go. We’re going to have some fun.
Mike: Come on. Let’s go.
Mickey Mouse: We’re gonna go party. We’re gonna go party. We’re going to have some fun.
Elizabeth: Ok, Ok, Ok. Let’s go.
Mickey Mouse [TO TAXI DRIVER]: Thank you, sir. Do you have anything to say to my mic?
Taxi Driver: Excuse me?
Elizabeth: Mmhmm.
Mickey Mouse: Do you have anything to say to my mic? I’m a reporter.
Taxi Driver: No.
Elizabeth: He’s a reporter. Say, “You’re having a splendid time in New York”.
Mickey Mouse: Want to come in and have a drink with us?
Taxi Driver: No, no, no that’s Ok.
Elizabeth: Awwwwww!
Mike: What are you doing?
Mickey Mouse: Can you park the car? I’ll buy you a drink.
Elizabeth Come on, habibi.
Mickey Mouse: Have some fun with us?
Elizabeth: Have a good night, habibi.
Mickey Mouse: Meet beautiful ladies. You’ll have some fun.
Taxi Driver [SMILING]: No. That’s ok.
Elizabeth: Where’s my car?
Mickey Mouse: Ok, we’re going to have some fun.
Elizabeth: Where’s my car?
Mickey Mouse [TO TAXI DRIVER]: We’re going to have some fun.
EXITS CAB
Elizabeth: No, no, no, no, no. We need to find my car.
Mickey Mouse: Si!
Elizabeth: Where’s the car?
Mickey Mouse: Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Elizabeth: Wow. Woo!
Recording ends as we walk into Diva. You can hear the driving house music playing through the room.
